Remember when…

It’s funny how you never see things, feel your own happiness until it’s gone or turned into something that shouldn’t be, how you can’t appreciate things you have until they’re there no more. Things were so simple back then, I didn’t know how complicated it could get. You were mine and just mine then and nothing else would matter. Even though it was all in my head I was happy. Life was beautiful and I didn’t have a care in the world. Back then you’d beg me to stay with you, even for a minute longer, how you actually would make me feel like I was special. I still remember when you first asked me about love if I believed in it and I said no, how you told me I will believe in it some day and it’s all a matter of time and you did, you made me believe in love. I didn’t believe you back then but I was happy. I wasn’t ready for anything like that and it would make me crazy to know that I wanted to spend time with you more than anything. Back then you were so nice, you were the friend I never thought I deserved to have but as stupid as I am, I blew it all away. The funny thing is I dun even remember you proposing me, ever. I remember you saying stuff like I dun know what I mean to you but not the exact same words, guess I must have been too sleepy to remember anything I dun know. How can I forget something like that. You say I said no, I probably would have thought you were just kidding, cuz it was way too early for that and as scared of losing things as I am I would have probably thought of better not to fall. I am not the kinda girl to take a chance with her feelings  you see, been through enough to know better, and still I fell for you. So yea I would have said no. If only I knew I was going to fall for you anyway… And now I’ve lost the thing that somehow was the best thing of my life. Yea, with everything that happened, I wouldn’t change a thing about it if given second chances. I dun regret any choice I made… But what am I supposed to do now? If only you were the same guy I knew back then you would have cleared all my doubts and made me stay… but guess I was right, you dun want me there any more, ’cause……………… I know I can never believe you want me there, not like this…….but still it hurts to know that you think I’m not even worth trying now, that’s why you didn’t even say a word…not even goodbye!